101 Ways to Know Your Asian:
You were/are a good student with very high GPAs.
You majored in something practical like engineering,
medicine or finance.
You have more than one college degrees, especially
more than one Master's.
If you play a musical instrument, it must be piano. Or
violin.
You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
You beat eggs with chopsticks.
You always leave outdoor shoes at the door.
You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all
times.
You boil water before drinking.
You eat all meals in the kitchen to keep your dining
room clean.
You don't use measuring cups when preparing foods.
You save grocery bags and use them to hold garbage.
You have a rice cooker.
You're a work user.
You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
You wash rice 2-3 times before cooking it.
You make sounds when you have a bowl of soup.
Your don't dry-clean cloths, even if they need to be
dry-cleaned.
You iron your own shirts.
You like congee (Zhou1) with thousand year old eggs
(Song1 Hua1).
You always cook yourself, even if you hate it.
You use credit cards, and pay monthly bills in full.
You keep most of your money in a savings account.
You buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are
50% off.
When you hand wash dishes, you only use cold water.
You hate to waste food:
a) Even if you're totally full, if someone says
they're going to throw away the leftovers on the
table, you'll finish them.
b) You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites
of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
You don't own any real Tupperware--only a cupboard
full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs,
takeout containers, and jam jars.
You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
When toilet paper is on sale, you buy 100 rolls and
store them.
You have a collection of miniature shampoo/conditioner
bottles and little soap bars that you take every time
you stay in a hotel.
The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club
sized or come in plastic packets, which you "save"
every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.
You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel
(and travel means any car ride longer than 15
minutes).
You spit bones and other food scraps on the table.
Your dad thinks he can fix everything himself.
When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys
surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
Your house/apt. is always cold in winter, and hot in
summer.
Your mom drives her Mercedes to Price Club, or
Shoppers Food Warehouse regardless how far it is, even
if Safeway is next door.
You always look phone numbers up in the phone book,
since calling Directory Assistance costs 50 cents.
You only make long distance calls after 11pm or during
weekends.
You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still
attached.
You never call your parents just to say hi.
You think ONLY Japanese can make good CARS!
You use a colored face cloth every morning.
You starve yourself before going to all-you-can-eat
places.
You've joined a CD club at least once.
You never discuss your love life with your parents.
Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
Your parents still tried to get you in to places
half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
You ask your parents help on one math problem and 2
hours later they're still lecturing.
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry
You shop 99 ranch
Everyone thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part
of Asia your ancestors were from
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends'
kids
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily
clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk
around a temple, forest, or library
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage"
You drive mostly Japanese cars.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices
are rock bottom
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put
in hot dogs
You've gotten little red envelopes around February
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front,
back, and closet doors
You hear (your name + eee (optional) + yah!) every
time someone calls you (e.g. Jean - ee - yah! or Mary
-yah!)
You have no eyelids
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic
imitation Asian languages, like the ever-so-popular:
chingchong woo bok chi, etc...
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin
The Bio lectures on marine life (seaweed, sea
cucumbers, octopii) was last night's dinner
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged
body at 12 midnight to say, "In Korea (or other native
country), we studied even more."
Your parents expect you'll be best friends with any
one off the street in any given area as long as they
are Asian
An Asian woman comes on campus and people ask: "Is
that your mother?" Well then, "Is it your sister?"
Your relatives' houses smell like incense, mothballs
or both
Your parents say, "Calculus? I took Calculus in 8th
grade!"
Everyone thinks you're good at math
Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "ai-yahs, and
Wah's"
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing
from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English
words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow,
pink, magenta, orange, and the ever popular lime green
Your parents insist you marry within your race
You either really, really want to go to UCI or really,
really want to stay away from it
Your parents have never kissed you. Your parents have
never kissed each other
You learned about the birds and the bees from someone
other than your parents
"You want a stereo?! When I was your age, I didn't
even have shoes!!"
People see a bunch of scribbles on a chopstick and ask
you to translate
You have to call just about all your parent's friends
"Auntie and Uncle"
You have 12+ aunts and uncles
At expensive restaurants, you order a delicious glass
of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert
Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the
bread and say "Eat anyway. It's still good."
You will most likely be taller than your parents
Your parents have either make you play the piano, the
violin, or both
You get nothing if you do well in school, but crapped
on if you don't
When going to other people's houses, you always have
to bring a gift
The furniture in your house never matches the
wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the
rest of the furniture
You own a rice cooker or two
You buy soy sauce by the gallon
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head
Your parents tell you about how long it took for them
to get to school, how horrible the weather was in
their native country, and how much they still
appreciated going
Your parents buy you clothes and shoes many sizes too
big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to
come
You hate Chinese food
Your parents wont let u date until u r older than 20
You alwayz have something to hide form your
parentslove lifehate lifeetc.
|
住戶編號:278614
檢舉原因
心情: 
